Having hung out with lots of newlywed guys in the dating and relationship scene, what mistakes do you see them making and what advice would you have for them?
The first thing for newlyweds to concentrate on is not dropping whatever was working for them before they got into marriage. There is an established rumor going around that the honeymoon period is often over as soon as a guy gets married, or that the sex stops when the marriage starts. There is no reason for those things to happen. To my mind, marriage is a celebration of two people recognizing they want to spend more of their lives together.
It?s a celebration of the time they?ve already spent together and what they hope for in the future, so marriage in itself shouldn?t change their relationship too much. I think the problem is most couples don?t go in with a backup plan. Usually they expect that things are going to keep going well whatever they do ? however, the nature of marriage and the pressures that it creates can catch people by surprise.
What I don?t like to see with relationships is, once a couple gets married, they feel like they have to change what they were doing before. If a guy used to go out on a Saturday night and catch up with friends, that shouldn?t change just because they?re married. If the girl used to go shopping with her girl friends midweek, that shouldn?t change, either. I think that is the first real critical issue that people have and one of the things that most obviously pops up, because there?s suddenly more pressures to do everything together as a couple.
The monetary costs of marriage often put a significant financial strain on people. It?s very important to recognize that if you?re going to invest in an elaborate wedding ceremony while bringing people into your life to celebrate this event, it shouldn?t be at the expense of you being able to go out and do the things that you love in the many months that come afterwards.
You still should be able to go out with each other and spend time at the movies or go out for dinner nights midweek. Keep on with your eventful life, because at the end of the day, if getting married means you have to sacrifice all those things that are important to you ? it?s no wonder that the relationship is going to start to crumble around you.
I think the final useful step for people who have just gotten married is to have a plan in place. When things inevitably go stale, as they always tend to do within a marriage or any other kind of routine, what are you two going to do will help you move past that stale point? Do you have something in place so that you can both say, ?We?ve hit that point where it?s gotten a little bit stale, and we told each other we would have a weekly date night as a cure for this.? It?s almost like you?ve already pre-cured any issues that might pop up.
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Category: All Articles, Articles, Attraction and Women, Relationship advice, Romance
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